Scientific Principles for Raising Teenagers

Scientific Principles for Raising Teenagers

The problem of raising teenagers is one of the problems that concern the specialists in this field. Children usually stay under their parents control till a certain age, but the parents often misuse this control. The parents later regret it after their children leave their control whether by marriage, migration or education. So it is very important for these parents to give this subject plenty of time and attention, knowing that a righteous son would be like an everlasting charity which would benefit them after death!
There are factors that influence the growing teenager and his behavior. Some of them are internal factors like hereditary characteristics and mental structure. Obviously while these factors vary from one member of a family to another, that doesn’t imply fatalism in determining human behavior. Other factors are environmental factors like parents’ or corrupt relatives’ behavior, friends, scholastic environment, and finally different media that have often become devilish tools to corrupt our children. Some parents, as we can see, do not know who their children’ friends are, and what orientations and inclinations they have when they are in fact those who outline their children’ behavior. We have often seen parents giving all their efforts, psychological and intellectual, to raise their son on good manners untill the age of eighteen. But one red night, one trip to suspicious places, or one corrupt company turns this son upside down, and what a great loss! For this reason it is necessary to start strict and full monitoring over the children, as long as this can keep them from evils, by watching whom they accompany, where they go and what they do.
One practical recommendation in this matter is constructive dialogue. Youth nowadays have wide knowledge and awareness, and good analytical abilities in politics, economy, culture, and so forth. When the social sphere is full of imported thoughts, cultural corruptions and mercurial concepts that can be missed, it is our duty to help the youth who live in a kind of intellectual confusion, output of this intellectual freedom, primarily by open minded discussion, instead of clashing or cursing with corruption and unbelief. This latter method would lead them to stubbornness and insisting on their attitudes, even just as a challenge.
There is aninsightful hadith that is explcit: “Never raise your children the way you raised because they were created for a different time than yours.”
Another practical recommendation for the parents is to establish a friendship with their children and to avoid the roughness that is widespread in eastern societies. This friendship would encourage the son to discuss his problems and concern with his parents, the ones who know what is good for him, instead of strangers. The father should himself select the most suitable group of friends for his son like those who come frequently to the mosque, before the son would choose the bad ones. Another important recommendation for the parents is to show their love, affection, satisfaction with their children to keep away from accusation and mistrust which will make them lose their self-confidence. The father who notices any good sign of this son should take advantage of this chance and try to encourage him, praise him and reward him. It is well known that reward is a motivator even for adults, a fact that is considered also in urging recommendable actions by the Divine Law